Today's thought.

All we ever need is that perfect balance to keep us moving forward. 

Whilst the confused, dazed and negative people around us are cheating themselves with envious acts of silence; let us not forget that life is still beautiful and always will be.

End of story.

Pray. Hope. Don't worry.

It’s unerringly 3:53 AM and I am wide awake, up and about…

As I write this entry, my television is as stirring as I am. I am momentarily looking at TLC and this girl just climbed Mount Sinai on time to witness the first light of the day and from the looks of it, it is just breathtaking. Makes me marvel when could I ever do that? Climb a mountain and watch patiently as the sun rises little by little and beautifully, now on to that thought, perhaps I will make that happen someday.

Oh well, it’s exactly less than a month more to go for the big day. I know I’ve got most of the things covered but there’s just this feeling of uncertainty if I have ever missed out on anything else. I am terrified of such big parties. I don’t know how to handle such a big crowd where I and my groom-to- be are the stars of the night. It’s bloodcurdling. But I know, like everything else, this will pass and I will look back with a grin on my face laughing on what I was terrified about.

I am all packed up for parties here and there next month and I hope it will grant me a comforting feeling. It’s hard to just sit and lighten up nowadays where I find time so short and precious. I feel like every minute of my day counts. I am so proud to put together all my giveaways and that I must say is a labor of love. All my wedding preparations are so full of love, from the people helping me put it all together. It’s basically putting all of my time and endless effort in to it.

I am just hoping and praying that everything will fall into place. That there’d be peace on that day, most especially amongst my family, why can’t there be harmony among them? Oh Lord, grant me and us the serenity on that day and the days to come. I am praying too for a bright and sunny weather in the same way that I am praying for our marriage to be blissful.

There’s just so much going on my mind right now. I feel like a mixed drink of some sort. I must taste awful at the moment. But I know everything will be better as there are always better days.

Earlier today, I joined a mass in honor of Saint Pio who is celebrating his feast day today. I had dinner with my future in-laws and then I learned through various testimonies the very words of Saint Pio that touched me and gave me a reason not to sweat on the small stuff anymore and it goes like this…

Pray. Hope. Don’t worry.

And how all those 4 words – short and precise mean so much and made me believe just to have faith in myself, my planners, my suppliers and everyone else who is working hard for my wedding to take place. Faith in my prayers and knowing t hat God will hear me and lifting all my worries to Him.

It doesn’t just coincide with what I feel at the moment but it does connote a meaning to our everyday lives. We must always be prayerful and hopeful as there are bright tomorrows. We can only look back to what our yesterdays has taught us and eventually realizing that it made us strong. And lastly, we must not worry. Aside from getting fine lines in our face and hastening the production of cancer cells because of our anxiety, there’s just no good to it, no end to it as well.

My fish Quince is playfully looking at me now in a happy-feel-good of a way. Makes me wonder, do they ever sleep? Quince is right on my bedside table and I look at him first thing in the morning. Damon on the other hand is on my coffee table and he seems resting comfortably at the moment.

It’s 4:08 AM and I must tuck myself into bed as the cold September breeze is making me yawn. This time of the morning is my favorite. When the roosters make their distinct jingle and the breeze is just oh-so-cold. I will say my prayers, hope for a great day and try not to worry so much.

Gone too Soon.

His last breath was probably on Christmas Eve's morning. I got a text message from my cousin late afternoon informing me that Kane has passed away. My heart is broken.

He was suffering from a disease called EIA Equine Immune Anemia. It is a contagious disease that would eventually lead to a horse's death sooner or later. It is fatal. There is no cure. The best possible way is mercy killing so as not to prolong the agony of the horse.

I submitted myself to the most humane way of euthanasia and God knows what it was, I was never there when it happened. It is quite unfair that Kane had to die while some cousin of mine has probably 2 or more horses alive positive for EIA. Their horses has to be put down too. I sacrificed mine for the benefit of others.

If you love something, set it free.

You are now free Kane. Please watch over me...








I love you Kane, Goodbye...

Smooth as Yogurt.

Feels outlandish. Maybe there will be a moment in your life when you feel all the odds. Nothing seems to be just right. Everything is going backwards and no matter how you put your best foot forward, it simply is jammed to where it is. I am deeply feeling all the odds at this time.

Perhaps I am just being nostalgic. But I love where I am now. I love this beautiful island. I could live here for ages. I will never get off-color with it.

Maybe I am just exhausted and worn out.

I know I will be home soon. I am scared at the thought of it to be truthful. I know there will better days ahead of me. It’s just the uncertainties that jolt me so much.

I know that the sun will glimmer upon me wonderfully there as it has been glowing as radiant to me here. And I know that I have learned to feel affection for the rain already. A mist, a drizzle or a heavy downpour won’t really matter. When it rains, it pours...

Today I should be happy for I am blessed. I should be grateful. I am. I’ve changed that’s why and it just feels strange.

Why can’t life be as smooth as yogurt?

I was told that the bump in the road is what makes life a journey worth traveling. For on those bumps, you will hit upon that crossing where everything happens for a reason. Where everything may fall into its place or not, the journey where you convene with the crossroads, where you make a decision to move forward or just look back and allow yourself to be caught up with the tides, and if worst comes to worse you might get swallowed by the sea.

Maybe when life is as smooth as yogurt it will be fairly dull. No more bumps.

So, maybe this is the life. Not as smooth as yogurt...