It’s unerringly 3:53 AM and I am wide awake, up and about…
As I write this entry, my television is as stirring as I am. I am momentarily looking at TLC and this girl just climbed Mount Sinai on time to witness the first light of the day and from the looks of it, it is just breathtaking. Makes me marvel when could I ever do that? Climb a mountain and watch patiently as the sun rises little by little and beautifully, now on to that thought, perhaps I will make that happen someday.
Oh well, it’s exactly less than a month more to go for the big day. I know I’ve got most of the things covered but there’s just this feeling of uncertainty if I have ever missed out on anything else. I am terrified of such big parties. I don’t know how to handle such a big crowd where I and my groom-to- be are the stars of the night. It’s bloodcurdling. But I know, like everything else, this will pass and I will look back with a grin on my face laughing on what I was terrified about.
I am all packed up for parties here and there next month and I hope it will grant me a comforting feeling. It’s hard to just sit and lighten up nowadays where I find time so short and precious. I feel like every minute of my day counts. I am so proud to put together all my giveaways and that I must say is a labor of love. All my wedding preparations are so full of love, from the people helping me put it all together. It’s basically putting all of my time and endless effort in to it.
I am just hoping and praying that everything will fall into place. That there’d be peace on that day, most especially amongst my family, why can’t there be harmony among them? Oh Lord, grant me and us the serenity on that day and the days to come. I am praying too for a bright and sunny weather in the same way that I am praying for our marriage to be blissful.
There’s just so much going on my mind right now. I feel like a mixed drink of some sort. I must taste awful at the moment. But I know everything will be better as there are always better days.
Earlier today, I joined a mass in honor of Saint Pio who is celebrating his feast day today. I had dinner with my future in-laws and then I learned through various testimonies the very words of Saint Pio that touched me and gave me a reason not to sweat on the small stuff anymore and it goes like this…
Pray. Hope. Don’t worry.
And how all those 4 words – short and precise mean so much and made me believe just to have faith in myself, my planners, my suppliers and everyone else who is working hard for my wedding to take place. Faith in my prayers and knowing t hat God will hear me and lifting all my worries to Him.
It doesn’t just coincide with what I feel at the moment but it does connote a meaning to our everyday lives. We must always be prayerful and hopeful as there are bright tomorrows. We can only look back to what our yesterdays has taught us and eventually realizing that it made us strong. And lastly, we must not worry. Aside from getting fine lines in our face and hastening the production of cancer cells because of our anxiety, there’s just no good to it, no end to it as well.
My fish Quince is playfully looking at me now in a happy-feel-good of a way. Makes me wonder, do they ever sleep? Quince is right on my bedside table and I look at him first thing in the morning. Damon on the other hand is on my coffee table and he seems resting comfortably at the moment.
It’s 4:08 AM and I must tuck myself into bed as the cold September breeze is making me yawn. This time of the morning is my favorite. When the roosters make their distinct jingle and the breeze is just oh-so-cold. I will say my prayers, hope for a great day and try not to worry so much.
