Sabel turns ONE.

Dearest Sabel,

As you turn one I celebrate the sweetness of a baby that is you. I thank the Lord for giving you to us. For being our joy and happiness always...

I pray that you and Julia will hold each other's hand when you're happy, scared or even when you're blue. 

Together, you will make the world a better place. 

Your smile - so genuine and sincere.

You are my constant reminder that life should be filled with all positivity, be in thoughts and actions. You prompt me to appreciate life as it is and to be contended with what’s here present. Your genuine smile each morning gives me hope for we never know what each day brings.

Always remember that Mama has got your back and that I will constantly be here for you and your sister.  

You are a certified Daddy’s girl. Never wanting without attention from him when he is present. 

Always remember to take each passing day with one small step at a time. 

I love it when I hear you squeal in delight, I especially like it when you call out for food because you love to eat so much.

You were born to shine and sparkle. 

You are a doting sister to Julia and because you are quite strong, at times, she feels you are hurting her but like I always tell her, you are just a baby and just wants to play. I hope you two will grow the best of friends.

The world is big and you must go and discover it for yourself. 

Life will not be perfect but I promise you, it will be beautiful. 

To my sweet one, Happy Birthday! 

I love you to the moon and back!

Love,

Mama

My Julia.

Just before Dwarfism Awareness month comes to an end, I'd like to say how proud I am to become a Mama of this almost 4-year old ray of sunshine who has taught me so much in life. I've become the mother that I am now because of you and the battles we've fought together. I love you so much, with all my heart. ❤️ 

Thank you, Leslie @dreambiglittleones for reminding me about how the word 'little' should just be a word and never a noun. 😊 

So, from this day on, no more littlejulia  hashtags, rather, beautifuljulia will shine through. 🌼🌼🌼 #simplepleasures #dwarfismawarenessmonth #dwarfismawareness #beautifuljulia

Torn on Halloween 2016.

Julia: Mama, Can I be Snow White and bring a red apple?

Mama: Darling, it wasn't Snow White who held the red apple. Unless, you want to become the witch for Halloween?

Julia: I want to be Snow White and bring a red apple, Mama. (Voice increasingly goes high)

Mama: You'll have to settle bringing a basket but without apples. 

She doesn't say anything and poses cheerfully giving me a comic relief of some sort.

Sweet Treats and Candies and Halloween Zumba Party 2016 at school.

11 Sweet Months.

To my second born and my little giant, now that you've turn 11 months old, I'd like to tell you a couple of things.

This month, you've become incredibly sick I had to take you to the hospital twice. My nerves got into me and my knees started to shake the moment you were having a fever that spiked up to 39 degrees. To top it all, big sister, Julia was sick too. 

You had teething pains as well and your fever came on and off giving me the scare of some sort. 

You've grown 2 front teeth this month that made you feel totally uneasy.

Mama became sick too and we all had to work hand in hand for Tita Ina's wedding. This month was just gonna go by fast, as slowly you approach to being a year old. 

Oh Sabel! Where did time go? I look at you and still am amazed how far you've grown and realize you've achieved so much in time. 

I with a deep breath, at times cannot contain my joy and fear of what lies ahead of us, of the days that are yet to come. I fear that I may not be able to give enough when the time comes that there will be three of you to look after. But my excitement gets the most of me thinking that my fear will just go by and away with the wind. 

Little darling, I love the sight of you and Julia cuddling each other to laughter. It warms my heart and how I find it funny that you cry whenever you hear her cry. 

How you cheerfully look for her presence and how she welcomes you with so much kisses and hugs melts my heart so much! I wonder how it will be when Clara comes out? Oh yes! Belly, we've decided to name your little sister Clara. Julia is fond of it as she recalls the name Clara from the movie The Nutcracker. Soon, you will enjoy watching movies with Julia and Clara when the time comes. 

As of now, please remain as my baby - Mama's sweet baby just for a short while. 

I love you, Belly!

Mama

10th month and a secret.

To my funny and gentle giant, now that you have turned 10 months old, let me tell you how you've brought happiness to Daddy, Julia and Mama. 

Let me begin by saying how I love mornings when you wake up and bury your face next to mine, flashing me the sweetest smile, a mother's console to a long night's weariness. And then you go ahead and leap forward and check on Julia which is situated on my other side and patiently you try to figure out if she's asleep or awake. When Julia is in her sleep, I always tell you not to bother her so she gets her dose of sleep. So instead, you crawl down and slowly let yourself go down to where Daddy sleeps. How delighted you are when Daddy affirms your presence! 

I am so proud to tell you that in 10 months, you've learned and love to walk on your own. You are such a strong baby and I know in time you'll be able to do more. The world is beautiful and you too will experience it soon. I pray that time will slow down a bit- for you to fully appreciate the way it goes.

Let me tell you a big secret now...

When you were just 7 months old, mama found out that you were going to be a big sister. I honestly feel at times that I am maybe a tad selfish being pregnant while you are still a baby. But because you've grown up to be quite a joyful surprise I know that everything's going to be okay. That you and Julia will understand in time and eventually help mama out with your little sister. Yes, Sabel, you are going to have a little sister soon. 

Please be good to Mama at all times and I pray for your understanding and patience now that I'm pregnant. It won't be easy but seeing you and Julia makes me a proud Mama knowing it's worth it all. 

I love you, Belly!

Mama 

Before your 9th month comes to an end...

When all of the universe seem to be in a deep sleep, I remain awake and always in awe as I watch you sleep in my arms. This time, you flash a smile that's shy and gentle and then comes another big one giving all you've got. I wonder what you must be dreaming or better yet what your angel has whispered into your ears at this very moment...

Oh sweet child of mine! As your 9th month comes to an end, I proudly say how beautiful you've become. You and your sister makes me so proud, makes me feel so wonderful about life and love. 

This month you've become so feisty that you would scream in a one big "ahhh..." once Julia grabs things from you, ultimately demanding for her to give it back which she submits seconds and at times minutes after. She tells me she's scared of you and how you stare at her. And how I giggle in her mischiefs! 

You've been cruising from short distances which makes me think that in no time you will be able to walk soon. How I love to see your strong and lean legs walk from end to end! You seem to be confident and proud of your own pace. 

I'm so happy when you seem to be wanting Daddy when you see him. When you let a soft cry once he doesn't mind you. When you clutch your legs into his knees so he moves not. Oh how sweet that is of you, Sabel!

And how reassuring and loving it is when you call me "mama" in the middle of the room making me so happy. When nanny comes and you desperately lock yourself into my arms makes me want to carry you all the more. 

Oh dear, Sabel this month has been filled with so much stumbles and boo boos as you've become the active baby that you are now. Sometimes I wonder if you are a baby boy trapped in a baby girl's body. Please be careful my love. Slow down if you need to. 

It won't be long anymore and you will be turning one. And how I feel emotional as time goes by so fast. 

Always be cheerful to everyone Sabel. May you continue to sparkle and bring joy to others especially to Julia. May you be each other's person as you grow up together. 

I love you to the moon and back!

Mama

On your 8th month...

Dearest Sabel,

Now that your 8 months old, I can definitely and proudly say how beautiful you've blossomed to be. 

You carry yourself with complete calmness that I for one am envious how a baby can do such thing. You respond to all qualms of the world with your biggest and sweetest smile thus melting the hearts of many especially mine. I really pray you will forever remain that way.

You smile to your sister's gentle voice and you always let out a loud chuckle when she cries, perhaps in your own little way that's how you comfort her.

You gave us quite the scare this month when you got sick for a span of two weeks. You have fever, cough and colds all together. Still, you were the calmest sick baby I've ever met. You were as patient as I needed you to be. Thank you, Sabel for showing me how to extend my patience in every little way you can.

Before the month ends, you've grown two bottom teeth. You look so cute when you flash your smile and your teeth comes to display. 

You've become the master crawler and I am always delighted with your skills and how adventurous you are. You never fear danger and I do hope you'll always be careful. When you stand and let go of both hands, my tummy gives me a funny scary feeling and yet you burst up in smiles and laughter shifting my mood yet again. 

Always be our sweet girl and please don't grow up so fast...

I love you always,

Mama

On your 7th month...

My dearest sweetie pie, 

Let me begin by saying how Mama loves unwrapping everything about you. From day to day, I feel like we've become best of friends already. Now, that you are seven months old, you've mastered the art of eating. Oh how I love to see you eat as your face lightens up when you're full and contented. 

They say, a baby changes his or her patterns and habits from time to time. But all in seven months you haven't changed your sleeping routine. You constantly wake up very early in the morning when the world is dark and still. Sometimes, I trick you to falling asleep again but you won't oblige as you want to be brought outside. 

As I write this, you're on my chest sleeping like an angel. Speaking of angels, I, without doubt think that your guardian angel must be full of humor and happiness, as you, even in your sleep would smile from ear to ear. Asleep or awake your smile melts my heart. Always.

You love to walk around your crib and even holding on to one hand style. You're such a strong baby and I am mighty proud of you. Your crawling skills are like those of commandos. 

I can't wait to know you more, to see you grow and to see you live life to its fullest just like your big sister Julia.

I love you, Sabel!

Love,

Mama

To the sweetest baby on your 6th month.

My dearest Sabel, as I scribble on this note, you are lying comfortably on my chest. And believe me, we can go as much time as you need to my little girl. With a loud burp that you just let out, I know a few minutes is on till I put you down beside me to sleep. But right now, let me hold you a little bit longer. Let me surrender to your sweet smell of a baby. Let me sink in to your breath that smells like milk. Let me surround you with my warmth as I embrace you closer. I know time will go by very fast and before long, you'll be so big, you might not want me holding you like this. 

All I need is this very moment to feel you. You are such a good baby Sabel. You've are the most patient human  I've ever met. I hope you will remain to have that virtue with you as you journey through life. You will need it always.

Sabel, Mama is so proud of you, as you turn 6 months old you've done so many wonderful things already. 

You are such a big eater and I giggle every time you crave for more. 

You've tried quite a handful of veggies and fruits already. Let me tell you what your happy tummy has been grinding this past few weeks; squash, carrots, potatoes, malunggay leaves, sayote, green peas, avocado, banana, Apple, pear, papaya, white rice, chicken liver and oatmeal. I know in time we can have more and I'm so happy you love what you eat. 

I simply cannot wait for you to walk and run so you can play in the garden with your sister. It would be nice to hold you and your sister hand in hand as we go for our daily paseo. The many places we can go and the many things we shall do together excites me so much. 

And as I end this note, I caught you smiling in your sleep, a lot of times successively. They say, when babies smile in their sleep it is because their angel is playing with them. Yet, you who's awake or asleep smile almost every second and that's the most wonderful thing about you. Maybe God has sent me one of His angels to remind me the goodness of this world. To inspire me to become a good mother and a better person.

Thank you Sabel for being the sweetest baby in the world! Your Daddy, Julia and I are so lucky to have you. 

To my sweet Sabel on your 5th month.

Dearest Sabel 

It's been 5 months since you gave us joy in this world. 

You have grown so fast my little chum chum. You are going to be a big girl like Mama. Your strong arms and legs are like those of true-born athletes. You have what it takes to become one, someday, Daddy, Mama and Julia will support you all the way.

You've been nothing but joy to us. You seem to lift my spirits up every time I am weary. You somehow know how Mama feels given that you always see me in my different moods. Thank you Dear Sabel for understanding me! For understanding how it is that at times I must really have to put your sister first than you. Someday, Mama will tell you why, it's not time now, you're too young to comprehend. But for now, I just wanna thank you for understanding her as well. I can see already that you look up to her. Each morning, she's the first one you look for besides myself. Just simply the tone of her voice would make you squeal with delight. Your smile looks so beautiful every time you see her coming at you. You adore her the most and for that I'm thankful. 

Every morning Julia looks forward for your playtime where Mama places you on the bed with her by your side. She cuddles you with so much love and sincerity it makes my heart melt. 

You have been enjoying play time because now you can finally pick up toys by yourself holding it close and shifting it here and there. Your strong grip is something. People have been amazed on how strong you really are.

You are starting to eat your vegetables and Mama is so happy. I pray you will love your vegetables. I pray you'll grown healthy and smart.

You are a happy child, Sabel. 

You're always beaming with love. Your sweet smile has caught the hearts of many. 

Just like your sister Julia, your eyes twinkle every time you smile. You make Mama's blues go away. You make heavy days seem lighter. I thank you for that.

Thank you for giving Mama your purest smile always. 

I love you to the moon and back my sweet baby.

Love,

Mama

Dearest Sabel on your 4th month.

Four months with you has been so beautiful. I cannot believe how big you've grown up to be. I can still remember how fragile you were the first time I laid my eyes on you. How delicate your fingers and your toes were. You were such a gentle and sweet newborn. 

Now, you've become this adorable chunky goodness of a baby if I can just put it in words. You're so full and big all over. You've become so strong and lean makes me want to think you're a giant. With all your growth and beauty still you've remained to be calm, loving and sweet. 

Can I just say that I am so in love with your eyes that twinkles every time you smile? They're like diamonds, Sabel. Your eyes are so captivating! 

Your smile has become everyone's main attraction as you flash it almost every minute. You're the happiest baby I've ever seen. Sometimes a day goes by that I never hear you cry, you are always happy that way. And for that I am so thankful. 

May you remain to be sweet and gentle as you grow up. May you constantly be our new ray of sunshine. May you always cheer up your big sister when she's not having a good hair day. May you always be attentive to everyone not letting your eyes pass most especially when food is present. May you continue to blossom like a lovely flower. May your days be kind and soothing. May you always be filled with grace as you radiate it towards me. May you be your sister's friend and protector. 

And may you always be Mama's little chunky baby. I will forever and always love you and your sister.

Love,

Mama

They're so big, I'm small.

Coming home from school, my daughter tells me, "mama, I didn't get so much stars," showing me her hands. I curiously asked, but why darling? 

My heart was broken when I heard her answer. 

"Because Mama, my classmates are so big and I'm small and I couldn't reach it."

But then I am reminded that she is now three years old and will get lots of moments like this. 

I went about my afternoon, going thru the hustle bustle of a Wednesday and  completely imagining what could I possibly tell Julia that she will understand. 

So tonight, I played with her. Bathe her and had a good time like we always do. When she was all clean and fresh, I prompted her in front of me and told her I needed to talk to her. She looks into my eye waiting for me to talk. 

Deep breath.

Julia, when you were born, God made you so special. 

Remember the time when you were a baby and the doctors had to fix your hip? 

She nods herself. She remembers everything by the way.

And I knew she's a big girl and can handle what I was going to say next.

Darling, they had to fix your bones because you have Dysplasia. 

Can you say Dysplasia?

"Deespleeeesia she tells me."

So when there are times that you

can't reach and can't simply get more stars, always remember how God made you. 

I tell her with ease. 

And love, it's okay if you don't get so much stars, at least you've got some already.

So I flash a question to check if she got me.

Julia, why didn't you get so much stars?

"because Mama, my classmates are so big and I can't reach it"

But why I ask even more?

"I'm small." She adorably tells me so.

Why are you small? I ask some more.

"because Jesus made me special."

That'll do for now. 

My sweet little Julia.

Here she is before going to a party. 

To Sabel on your 3rd month.

I find myself candidly staring at you at 3 in the morning on a cold Saturday. I just finished feeding you and you're now doing your hourly stretch. 

Here I am admiring every second of what seems to be such a graceful act of yours. Beaming with pride on how lovely you've become all in 3 months time. 

I examine every single detail of your face and body and again, again and again. Just like that, I can't help but giggle every time I come across the jiggly parts of your body. You're such a chunky little darling! 

You've managed to carry yourself, proudly carrying your weight as you bring your head to center, balancing here and there, you've manage to stand tall with ease and pride. As we carry you, you position your legs and make it dangle here and there, so strong and so lean. You've mastered the art of putting your hands close to your mouth imagining the simple pleasures of having icecream perhaps? And how amazing it is to see you make that move when you kick and lift your tummy up, you look so strong and mighty sometimes people would mistakingly think that you are a boy. 

Oh sweet Sabel! You're a dream baby! I've never had so much smiles coming back at me in a day. You are my sweetest sunshine. 

I can't seem to put into words how you've brought that light to us. Even your sister Julia has grown fond of you, always demanding of you and always wanting.

I've always admired how you without a doubt smile back at me when Julia is having a bad-hair day. Sometimes I feel that you get me, where I am at and whatever I am feeling. Your comforting smile does the trick and one has got to see it when the magic happens for them to understand what I'm saying. 

I can't wait for us three to lay on a blanket and have our tea parties one after the other, simply enjoying and overly excited all the time. 

You and your sister are my precious gems and I am beaming with pride to be your mother.

Time does fly. You're three months old already and you've given so much joy to us. 

I find myself wanting for the sun to shine now, for you to wake up in a glorious morning as I joyfully sing to you my song, "you are my sunshine, my only sunshine..." To which you fully acknowledge my presence as you flash the sweetest and purest smile there is. 

I love you so much, Sabel!

Always,

Mama

Goodbye Chesi!

Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, For the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." Matthew 9:14

Julia has lost a cousin and a playmate but then heaven has gained a beautiful angel to watch over us all. 

Her funeral yesterday was beautiful. My heart is full as I feel for her parents. Julia insisted on coming as she wants to say goodbye to her too. 

I told her that Chesi is now an angel to which she replied, "oh Mama! Jessi is in heaven now because she has wings."

From a 3 year old, I rest my case. I need not explain. The thought is there and I wouldn't want to change a thing. She calls her Jessi by the way...

Good bye Chesi!

Please watch over your Dada, Mama and Ate Meya. Pray for them and pray for us too.

We love you!

Thank you 2015.

Thank you 2015.

Thank you 2015 for all that you had been.

Thank you for giving us a splendid time in Manila.

Thank you for making me get back in shape and for allowing me to run.

Thank you for giving us another bundle of joy.

Thank you for allowing me to relish and enjoy my pregnancy.

Thank you for the time well spent with my daughter, bonding with her when her nanny was gone. For that, she grew and blossomed like no other.

Thank you for the gift of family and for the ties that bind us all.

Thank you for the easy delivery and even it was hurting after, still, I am thankful.

Thank you for a beautiful baby girl.

Thank you for my other beautiful girl who just turned three.

Thank you for the joy that Christmas season brought to us all.

Thank you for making me realize what joy it is to be able to give to others, be it big or small.

Thank you for all the calories gained. All of which that stayed on the lips and for always remaining on the hips.

Thank you for the gift of being able to create something yummy in the kitchen, for being able to bake again.

Thank you for the bright lights and classic Christmas songs that never gets old.

Thank you for teaching me more about life and for letting me live.

Thank you for the gift of peace and mending hearts.

Thank you Dear God for everything.

Thank you for my girls! My squad.

Thank you for allowing me to experience joy in giving to others. 

Thank you for all the calories! My Chocolaty mess.