Mama's Day off.

Hello world!

I feel like 20 years has passed but in reality, it’s been just a couple of years, months maybe that I have this time for myself. 

Just one complete day of absolutely doing nothing other than staring at the sea holding a paper cup that holds my all-time favorite drink-Jack and Coke. 

The last time I ever did this was many years ago. To be exact, it was 2009 in the lovely island of Guam where I mostly enjoyed moments like this. Just me, the ocean and Jack. 

Fast forward to 2018, 9 years after, 3 daughters and many pounds heavier, I heartily come back to where my soul finds solace. And damn, pardon my language, but it feels surreal and dreamy to be in this side of the world.

A 6-hour drive from my hometown is a hidden paradise called home to most surfing enthusiast. It’s probably a half mile road that collect memories from hundreds of happy feet that comes and goes. 

Cali-coan Island in Samar was our destination. 

With me were cousins and very close friends who were up for an adventure. But for Mama’s like me, it was my day off. 

The cure for anything they say is salt water - sweat, tears or the sea.

At times, when the world seems to feel so small because, well, life happened, I find myself wanting to break free. I know that some Mamas out there will understand my thoughts and what my heart is pouring out at the moment. We just need a day or two or three to refresh and get the groove going. We are not just housewives who tidy up things and take care of our children. We are the one that makes the house full of life as we carry the heart of the home. Never think that just because you are a stay at home Mom, you are too small because as a matter of fact, we rule the world, we rule our children’s little world of make believe and magic.

So, do not think less of yourselves any longer. Take a break from whatever beautiful chaos you are in just because you deserve it, once in a while. Take time to read a nice book, get some tan, have a little Jack and Coke and wear those swimsuit that used to make you feel sexy. Let’s embrace our curves and imperfections and have a great time, since time is fleeting so let us not waste it.

Thank you Dear God for your beautiful creation and all the wonders it has done for us!

xoxo

Fleeting love.

Out of the sunniest shade, I shy myself out.

Not knowing why, not knowing how.

I used to love the sun like no other.

I used to glorify her in the highest noon. 

But today, at this very day, I couldn’t look at her. I couldn’t put myself to stand under her. 

I’m letting you go but not completely. 

My fondest memories were always with you, under your high spirits feeling me with the warmth of true love’s tight embrace. 

Please know that I still need you. 

I need your energy to keep my babies shiny and healthy. 

I shall come back to you soon 

And remember that it was never you, it’s just me.

Clara turns one.

Not too long ago, I gave birth to the tiniest human that my hand has ever held. I didn’t know what to do and how to take care of this precious baby at first. I faced all my doubts and fears and finally brought her home on her 13th day of life. 

I simply managed taking care of her by myself while making sure her sisters were okay too, thanks to this beautiful solly baby wrap that made Clara feel warm and safe all throughout her early months of life. 

She woke up early today as she always does, today, she decides not to chew on her sister’s shoes instead she plays with her bib, throwing it up, swaying it side by side.

I grab her not so tiny self and kiss her so much she giggles in excitement. I sang her a birthday song as she playfully claps her hand. 

I simply cannot imagine that exactly a year ago, I brought myself to the emergency room to the hospital nearby to check if what I was feeling were indeed contractions. I was 33 weeks pregnant then when Clara decided to come out to the world. Such a beautiful and tiny angel she was. We had a mild scare because she was supposed to be airlifted to our neighboring city for critical care. It didn’t happen and I thank God and Mama Mary for that. 

So many miracles in such a short span of time. She became strong and her doctor decided to make her come home after 12 days in the NICU. Did I mention that I had breast milk after 2 days of giving birth which is very unlikely to happen to me.

So, Thank you God! Thank you for the gift of life you bestowed Clara with. Thank you for sending her to us. She is our little butterball, our happy baby, our precious child and I cannot believe she is now one. 

As I tuck you back in bed, I gently lift a prayer to God to make your days always happy and joyful. For your dreams to be forever sweet and magical. And for the rest of your days to be colorful as the rainbow. 

Happy birthday, Clara!

We love you!

Always,

Mama