Little one.

Staring at space.

So much to say but words won’t do justice. Let’s begin with – I am sad.

Some days are bright and sunny and some would just go gray and weary.

A lovely bloom stands out perfectly but soon it will die and wither.

There’s a storm that destroys everything but like every storm, it will pass.

After the rain, there’s always a rainbow.

I do not know where I am going at this.

One thing I do know is that I have faith.

I know in His perfect time, He will bless us and reward us again with a bundle of joy and I know when that moment comes, the sun will glow and beam like gold.

I will not dare ask why. Because I know that He has His very reasons. For whatever the reason is, I still say that we are lucky. We’ve been blessed. We will be forever grateful.

My heart cries out and bleeds for the loss of our precious one but I know deep inside that he or she will be watching over us like angels do for always and forever. 

                                                                                                                              

We love you our little Angel!

Lavender and other things.

Lavender. Particularly my most favorite scent in the whole world. As I write this entry, my oil burner stands by peacefully on my bedside table with the Lavender scent spread all over the room. It soothes me like nothing else. Its like a powerful drug that sets you into a very subtle mood. I wish there were Lavender fields in my town. I could hang around there in the mornings or swing by late in the afternoon. That would really be wonderful. 

Its exactly five in the afternoon and I couldn't help but feel nostalgic as I hear the church bells ring. It does so twice a day and I am always a fan of its rustic and magical sound. It rings at exactly five in the morning and does the same drill at five in the afternoon just in time when the sun is starting to set. Because I am basically in bed all the time nowadays, I have to admit that my favorite time of the day is when I hear the church bells clanging. The morning drill being my favorite. When it happens, there seems to be a lovely feeling that makes you want to cling in your sheets and cuddle with your giant pillow and feel that cool morning breeze that smells oh-so-good. So good that sometimes you could already taste it. 

Two years ago, during this time of the day, I could picture myself lounging in the sand and watching the sunset in Guam. Never did I thought, that I would get engage and get married the year after. Its just funny how you think about some things and how you miss some moments in your life. I am sure my close friends I met in Guam would share the same sentiments as I, about missing the place that we once called home for about a year. Just last Sunday, we were all texting each other how it was like before. Oh happy days!

Everyday is always a happy day. It depends how you see or feel it. Some choose to be awfully sad and a lot of time others choose to be happy. I am with those of the latter. I try as much as I can to exhale hate in my dreadful days and to inhale love everyday. With love comes kindness and from there on everything will be as lovely as a summer day. 

As the clanging church bells ends its rustic music, I must now go on and listen carefully about how the impeachment of a government official is going on and at the same time changing channels to find out what time Whitney Houston's funeral will be this weekend. I care about politics because I am a silently-concerned citizen and I care about the 6 Time Grammy winner as well because she is a legend after all. 

Photo from the Lavender and Olive Garden

Do you find yourself lounging on this white wooden beach chair while listening to the church bells clanging beautifully? 

Dreaming...

It's been a week and a day since I have been in a complete bed rest. I eat most of the time in bed too by the little table Jules set up for me. Most of the days, I eat alone in the bedroom. Sometimes, I wonder if I could just go out for awhile and get some sun. I am pale and when it does happen, I look sickly. 

Today, I dream of having my meals outdoor, out in the sun, or simply out where there's a breath of fresh air.  

Dreaming...

This would be my favorite. It would be nice to take a book and just lounge on this wooden chair with Sweet Tea in tow. The view is just spectacular.

Dreaming....

A shabby chic Friday.

Today, I visited all the lovely blogs I could ever find because I was superbly bored during my 4^th day of the complete bed rest my doctor has advised me to do.

I feel like a whale. I’ve been lying down all day, all night, sitting up proudly when food comes around delivered. I feel helpless but there’s really nothing I can do. So, that’s it, I sleep and eat all together. I am now a whale...

I am trying to divert all my attention to the TV screen that’s been on 24/7. Because if I don’t, I’ll probably binge on food, on sweets – that I am staying away from. If I had it my way, I’d be munching on chocolates every now and then. Oh goodness…

Aside from the TV screen, I look for any beautiful things on the internet – today was all about shabby chic finds. I find myself gushing happily about how lovely the shabby themed houses were. Wishing that someday, our house would be as pretty as theirs.

But I came across to this lady from London named Rachel Ashwell. She is awesome. She has the best shabby chic taste ever. Below are some photographs of my favorites and current wish list from her website. 

Who doesn't love florals? I specifically love this pattern. I wonder if the husband would like to lounge in this kind of sheets?

A lovely flowery shade.

A multi-purpose table. Can be a buffet table, or simply transform this into a dresser. 

Mugs.

Dessert plates.

A beautiful dream catcher. This one will be too easy to make. DIY soon.

Dining table. 

Lila Chair. 

Lila Lounge Chair. It would be nice to have this in a balcony or in a sun room. 

A very well-lit chandelier. I love it!

A ruffled hooplike lamp shade. Very shabby and fresh.

Note Cards.

Lovely Ottoman.

A pink chippy table. 

I would love this mirror on a very spacious walk-in closet. 

Ruffled Teal Tablecloth. I love this too.

You can visit her at Rachel Ashwell

And she has a blog too Rachel's shabby blog

And believe it or not, she has a Bed & Breakfast too situated in Texas, please visit her B&B site at The Prairie

Let Go and Let God.

As I write this, I am 5 weeks pregnant and was just advised to have a complete bed rest for the next two weeks. I seem to be agitated by thought of such rest as it very disheartening on my part - As you may know, I spend my days quite productively almost all the time or so I would want it. I wake up early, have a full breakfast with coffee by my side and start my day, may it be baking, painting or a simple exercise that needs to be done, and at times accompany Jules whenever I feel like it to the farm. 

Today - everything will change. 

No more coffee for starters (I survived by the way for more than a week already). And no more salty foods and sweets, the later being the most tedious amongst all the don'ts. And I must not forget - the bed rest and all the medicines I must take to hold the precious one in place.

But how can I dare complain? I am blessed more than ever. I am truly grateful that the Lord has blessed Jules and I a little bundle of joy (being so little that it is still called a sac). 

Today, I will need prayers and for all the days to come. Praying to God for a safe and healthy pregnancy. 

Please pray for me and for the tiny one growing inside of me.

I will Let go and Let God.