The first 30 days has gone by...

Dearest Clara, 

  

Over the past 30 days, I've come to know you a little - a little but enough to understand your likes and dislikes. 

Let me begin to tell you how grateful I am to the heavens above for taking care of us - For healing us both fast and fully. For giving me milk on the second day of your life, which sounds so impossible but yes, because I prayed, so hard, there was milk for you. 

Because a lot of people were praying for us both, we had the healing that was so fast, I am beyond thankful to Jesus. We both came out of that experience so strong. You see little girl, you were believed to come out by February, instead, you came out way too early, ending 2016 with a bang. I will certainly not forget our first few hours together because it was the first time I experienced labor pains. 

Taking care of you has been so satisfying. I feel like I'm starting to become a pro at motherhood. You make mama duties seem so easy-going. 

Amongst all my three babies, you are the one I am mostly hands-on with minimal help from family. I applauded myself for not worrying anyone for our first 30 days together. I settled with my motherly instinct in nurturing you and I simply cannot believe that it’s been 30 days.

I find myself staring at you always, carefully examining you, from head to toe and vice versa. I especially love it when we hold hands; I feel that there is a bond beyond measure, one that only a mother can tell.

I am always caught up sinking in your baby smell, taking it all in for what seems like milk, body wash and powder all together. The scent of milk from your breath is so pure. The smell is so divine, so honest and sincere.

I watch you sensibly as you sleep and do your hourly stretches, like every mother, I am always in admiration looking at you. You make the sleepless nights seem less tiring.

Time has a way of telling us what truly matters and what is important. I have realized that I am so lucky to be a mama to you and your sisters.

Let me tell you how I love your energy that is so calming and constantly at peace. I haven’t heard you let out a loud cry ever yet nor did I have trouble putting you to sleep. Its always easy breezy with you Dear Clara. And I will forever give thanks to God for giving me a very good baby to deal with.

You’ve been nothing but love and light, my precious angel. I wish, hope and pray that you will grow up keen like Julia and as cheerful as Sabel. I know that time will just pass and before we know it, you girls will be having the time of your lives. But for now, let me relish the moment and savor all the memories of you as a baby. Let me have the sleepless nights for now, let me teach you how to pray and show you how it works most of the time, let me tell you how precious and gentle you are and let me tell you how beautiful the world is and that you too shall explore it soon…

I love you to the moon and back, Clara!

Love,

Mama

Thank you to my cousin Liane for taking lovely photos of Clara. 

Sabel turns ONE.

Dearest Sabel,

As you turn one I celebrate the sweetness of a baby that is you. I thank the Lord for giving you to us. For being our joy and happiness always...

I pray that you and Julia will hold each other's hand when you're happy, scared or even when you're blue. 

Together, you will make the world a better place. 

Your smile - so genuine and sincere.

You are my constant reminder that life should be filled with all positivity, be in thoughts and actions. You prompt me to appreciate life as it is and to be contended with what’s here present. Your genuine smile each morning gives me hope for we never know what each day brings.

Always remember that Mama has got your back and that I will constantly be here for you and your sister.  

You are a certified Daddy’s girl. Never wanting without attention from him when he is present. 

Always remember to take each passing day with one small step at a time. 

I love it when I hear you squeal in delight, I especially like it when you call out for food because you love to eat so much.

You were born to shine and sparkle. 

You are a doting sister to Julia and because you are quite strong, at times, she feels you are hurting her but like I always tell her, you are just a baby and just wants to play. I hope you two will grow the best of friends.

The world is big and you must go and discover it for yourself. 

Life will not be perfect but I promise you, it will be beautiful. 

To my sweet one, Happy Birthday! 

I love you to the moon and back!

Love,

Mama

My Julia.

Just before Dwarfism Awareness month comes to an end, I'd like to say how proud I am to become a Mama of this almost 4-year old ray of sunshine who has taught me so much in life. I've become the mother that I am now because of you and the battles we've fought together. I love you so much, with all my heart. ❤️ 

Thank you, Leslie @dreambiglittleones for reminding me about how the word 'little' should just be a word and never a noun. 😊 

So, from this day on, no more littlejulia  hashtags, rather, beautifuljulia will shine through. 🌼🌼🌼 #simplepleasures #dwarfismawarenessmonth #dwarfismawareness #beautifuljulia

Torn on Halloween 2016.

Julia: Mama, Can I be Snow White and bring a red apple?

Mama: Darling, it wasn't Snow White who held the red apple. Unless, you want to become the witch for Halloween?

Julia: I want to be Snow White and bring a red apple, Mama. (Voice increasingly goes high)

Mama: You'll have to settle bringing a basket but without apples. 

She doesn't say anything and poses cheerfully giving me a comic relief of some sort.

Sweet Treats and Candies and Halloween Zumba Party 2016 at school.

11 Sweet Months.

To my second born and my little giant, now that you've turn 11 months old, I'd like to tell you a couple of things.

This month, you've become incredibly sick I had to take you to the hospital twice. My nerves got into me and my knees started to shake the moment you were having a fever that spiked up to 39 degrees. To top it all, big sister, Julia was sick too. 

You had teething pains as well and your fever came on and off giving me the scare of some sort. 

You've grown 2 front teeth this month that made you feel totally uneasy.

Mama became sick too and we all had to work hand in hand for Tita Ina's wedding. This month was just gonna go by fast, as slowly you approach to being a year old. 

Oh Sabel! Where did time go? I look at you and still am amazed how far you've grown and realize you've achieved so much in time. 

I with a deep breath, at times cannot contain my joy and fear of what lies ahead of us, of the days that are yet to come. I fear that I may not be able to give enough when the time comes that there will be three of you to look after. But my excitement gets the most of me thinking that my fear will just go by and away with the wind. 

Little darling, I love the sight of you and Julia cuddling each other to laughter. It warms my heart and how I find it funny that you cry whenever you hear her cry. 

How you cheerfully look for her presence and how she welcomes you with so much kisses and hugs melts my heart so much! I wonder how it will be when Clara comes out? Oh yes! Belly, we've decided to name your little sister Clara. Julia is fond of it as she recalls the name Clara from the movie The Nutcracker. Soon, you will enjoy watching movies with Julia and Clara when the time comes. 

As of now, please remain as my baby - Mama's sweet baby just for a short while. 

I love you, Belly!

Mama

10th month and a secret.

To my funny and gentle giant, now that you have turned 10 months old, let me tell you how you've brought happiness to Daddy, Julia and Mama. 

Let me begin by saying how I love mornings when you wake up and bury your face next to mine, flashing me the sweetest smile, a mother's console to a long night's weariness. And then you go ahead and leap forward and check on Julia which is situated on my other side and patiently you try to figure out if she's asleep or awake. When Julia is in her sleep, I always tell you not to bother her so she gets her dose of sleep. So instead, you crawl down and slowly let yourself go down to where Daddy sleeps. How delighted you are when Daddy affirms your presence! 

I am so proud to tell you that in 10 months, you've learned and love to walk on your own. You are such a strong baby and I know in time you'll be able to do more. The world is beautiful and you too will experience it soon. I pray that time will slow down a bit- for you to fully appreciate the way it goes.

Let me tell you a big secret now...

When you were just 7 months old, mama found out that you were going to be a big sister. I honestly feel at times that I am maybe a tad selfish being pregnant while you are still a baby. But because you've grown up to be quite a joyful surprise I know that everything's going to be okay. That you and Julia will understand in time and eventually help mama out with your little sister. Yes, Sabel, you are going to have a little sister soon. 

Please be good to Mama at all times and I pray for your understanding and patience now that I'm pregnant. It won't be easy but seeing you and Julia makes me a proud Mama knowing it's worth it all. 

I love you, Belly!

Mama 

Before your 9th month comes to an end...

When all of the universe seem to be in a deep sleep, I remain awake and always in awe as I watch you sleep in my arms. This time, you flash a smile that's shy and gentle and then comes another big one giving all you've got. I wonder what you must be dreaming or better yet what your angel has whispered into your ears at this very moment...

Oh sweet child of mine! As your 9th month comes to an end, I proudly say how beautiful you've become. You and your sister makes me so proud, makes me feel so wonderful about life and love. 

This month you've become so feisty that you would scream in a one big "ahhh..." once Julia grabs things from you, ultimately demanding for her to give it back which she submits seconds and at times minutes after. She tells me she's scared of you and how you stare at her. And how I giggle in her mischiefs! 

You've been cruising from short distances which makes me think that in no time you will be able to walk soon. How I love to see your strong and lean legs walk from end to end! You seem to be confident and proud of your own pace. 

I'm so happy when you seem to be wanting Daddy when you see him. When you let a soft cry once he doesn't mind you. When you clutch your legs into his knees so he moves not. Oh how sweet that is of you, Sabel!

And how reassuring and loving it is when you call me "mama" in the middle of the room making me so happy. When nanny comes and you desperately lock yourself into my arms makes me want to carry you all the more. 

Oh dear, Sabel this month has been filled with so much stumbles and boo boos as you've become the active baby that you are now. Sometimes I wonder if you are a baby boy trapped in a baby girl's body. Please be careful my love. Slow down if you need to. 

It won't be long anymore and you will be turning one. And how I feel emotional as time goes by so fast. 

Always be cheerful to everyone Sabel. May you continue to sparkle and bring joy to others especially to Julia. May you be each other's person as you grow up together. 

I love you to the moon and back!

Mama