It just turned 5:19 in the earliest of mornings (my mornings) one Saturday when I held my 3 precious angels beside me as we scout outside our room to give them another scenery, one that allows them to smell the grass (early morning dew smell warms my heart always) and give them more space to hurdle. Sabel and Clara had their fair share of cry outbursts simultaneously around 330 in the morning and I just couldn't put them back to sleep anymore. They both want to be cuddled and carried at some point and sadly, I only have my own pair of hands. I had to wake up my eldest Julia so she can help me and cheer up Clara who has been crying non-stop as I try to sway Sabel back to sleep. It worked for just a few minutes up until I had no more energy to sway, hum a lullaby and create a soothing face. And so I took them out.
I waited for the sunrise to come up until I can call for help. My eyes were shutting down and watching them all three together who's sleepy, hungry and bored alone isn't really a wonderful thing anymore.
Oh how hard adulting is!
More so parenting in this conventional world I'm living in.
I wish there was a pause button to breathe and rest.
I wish I had a charger to plug myself into just to recharge my almost-empty battery life.
So, yes, it's a little past five in the morning and I'm carrying my fidgety 6 month old baby, holding Sabel's shirt as she is fond of running around me and thanking Julia for a job well done for helping Mama. I look at the sunrise and quickly snap a photo to remind me of this day.
I shall not forget that today, I held them all alone, my girls, my light and my hope for better days to come.
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